The Rain's Instinct
by Pixie Ayanami
Summary: When Soujiro receives news that Misao is pregnant with his child, he has major doubts of whether or not he can properly take care of it. Still, he rushes to Misao's side back in Kyoto. One-shotsongfic to Utada Hikaru's "About Me". Please R&R!


**Disclaimer: **Wow, I haven't wrote up a Soujiro/Misao fanfiction in a long time. This is a one-shot (a long one-shot)/ songfic to Utada Hikaru's "About Me". Comparing the lyrics to the story, you'd probably think that the two have nothing to do with one another. However, both the story and the song are about a couple's doubts and hopes, attempts to make things work, and wish of being honest with one another.

I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or it's characters. They belong ot Nobuhiro Watsuki. Also, I do not own Utada Hikaru's song "About Me" (obviously). Just to note, I took the lyrics off They seemed to be messed up to me, because whoever donated them put random comas in places where they shouldn't be, along with question marks at places where there were no questions but statements. So I tried to make the marks of the song right as I wrote this story up.

Warning: It is a Soujiro/Misao fanfiction. There are some suggested themes, but nothing obvious.

Please enjoy and review! Also, please look to the first part of this fanfic, which I will write sometime in the future! XD

**

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The Rain's Instinct**

**By Pixie Ayanami

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**

She is going to have a baby.

Soujiro Seta couldn't believe it. Out of everyone in the world, he had to be the least suitable person to even be considered a father. He had evil, dark sins on his heart. A wanderer, as well. How could he be expected to raise a child when he didn't know how?

Soujiro at the time was staying at the Kasshin dojo. They hardly accepted him back at the Aoiya in Kyoto but was embraced in Tokyo with mostly open arms. So as the former Tenken opened up the letter that day, Kenshin, Kaoru, Yahiko, and Sanosuke were right there, all looking over his shoulder. And when he read the message, the smile he always wore frowned, which never seemed right on Soujiro's face.

_Seta-san,_

_Please hurry back to the Aoiya. Misao is having a child, who she claims to be your child._

_-Okina_

Kaoru's eyes widened, realizing the situation was not as it should be. Quickly, she ran off to disappear, pretending to take care of her own three year old child, Kenji, who was currently digging up her carrots in the garden. As Sanosuke and Yahiko started bombarding Soujiro with words of congratulations and encouragement, he went limp. A baby. Just like that. What was he going to do? He couldn't fix this, he couldn't go back in time to stop this from happening. But there was just no way he could have a child...

Kenshin sensed the other's atmosphere of doubt and placed a reassuring hand on Soujiro's shoulder. "Are you ok, Seta-san?" the former battousai asked, frowning himself.

Soujiro wavered in his spot. "H-Himura-san... I think... I'm going to faint..." the young man claimed quietly. Afterwards he fell over as his vision enveloped in darkness, doing just as he said he would.

**...  
My baby, there's something you should know  
****About me, before you propose,  
****Although we have known each other for quite awhile.**

**When ever you need me  
****I'm going to try to make it through to you  
****But I'm not always ready to.  
****When you are not watching  
****I prepare myself for you.  
****But I worry that I might of been.  
...**

Not much later, Soujiro awakened. Kenshin sat patiently next to his futon with a cup of tea and a tea tray in front of him. Kenshin set down his own cup to fill up one for Soujiro. Soujiro sat up and accepted the tea carefully, still shaken from earlier. When he looked up, Kenshin was smiling at him. Neither of them spoke, and the only noises that could be heard were birds calling out to one another. The former tenken looked out to their sing-song voices through the window and looked at the blue sky. A few sakura tree petals whisped past the opening, as the season was now late spring and was time for the blossoming flowers to fall.

Soujiro peered into the blue sky, enveloped in confusing thoughts. Kenshin sighed. Deciding to break the silence, he said, "You should feel very honored, Seta-san. Misao-dono is giving her first child to you."

Soujio's smile had not returned since he read the letter, so his feelings of confusion were evident. He nodded slowly. "I know I should and I do... But how can I take care of a child? All I have ever known all my life is killing, even as a child. I never had a good upraising... So how can I..."

Kenshin closed his eyes and picked up his tea to take a sip. "Parenting is a hard task. It could be perhaps harder than all the battles I have ever faced in my life. However, to be able to raise my own child has been the greatest joy I've ever felt. I can't say I'm not scared that Kenji won't be raised correctly but I have faith in my wife and myself," Kenshin explained with a smile present on his own face. Soujiro dropped his head down. "Once you see the child, you'll know. To want to raise a child is instinct. You'll see."

Kenshin noticed that his pep talk wasn't working and that Soujiro was still disbelieving. "At least go see Misao-dono and the child?" Kenshin suggested. Soujiro nodded. He owed Misao that much at least, a meeting with her.

**...  
...Misunderstood.  
****I gotta tell you, I wanna tell you,  
****I can be lazy, but I'll try not to.  
****Baby I'm not a very honest person.  
****Right now you're sure that you love me?  
****But are you really sure you know all about me?  
****Up and down, and down, down, down, down we go.  
...**

Later that afternoon, Soujiro found himself packing his bags in a carriage heading to Kyoto. Kenshin, Kaoru, and Kenji were going to accompany him on his trip. Kenshin was there for moral support and Kaoru really wanted to see Misao. Or at least that's what they said. The real reason was that the two of them wanted to make sure that Soujiro actually went to the Aoiya and didn't run away. The whole scheme was developed by Kaoru. So after much deliberation, Kaoru put Sanosuke and Yahiko in charge of the dojo, so long as it isn't destroyed when she returns.

The four of them climbed into the horse-drawn carriage so that Soujiro and Kenshin were on one side facing Kaoru and Kenji. As the driver kicked the two horses off, Suojiro stared out the window. He was nervous, though no longer as startled as he was before. A small smile was back on his face, but the clenching and unclenching of his green gi made his anxiety obvious. Kenshin felt bad for not being able to help him. He was lucky he could convince Soujiro to even come. So besides the "name game" Kaoru was playing with Kenji, the car silent.

"What's that, Kenji?" Kaoru asked the small boy as she pointed to a cow in a field that they rode by.

"A cow, a cow!" little Kenji cried out and Kaoru clapped her hands.

"Very good! What sounds does a cow make?"

"Mooooooooooo!"

The ride continued to go on like this for quite some time until Kenji fell asleep on Kaoru's lap. Kaoru looked up at Soujiro who was staring outside again. "I'm sure your child is going to be beautiful," she said honestly, a smile gracing her lips. Soujiro nodded absentmindedly. Kenshin frowned.

Eventually Soujiro followed Kenji's path and fell asleep with his head leaning against the wall. When he was sure the former Tenken was asleep, Kenshin turned to Kaoru and said, "How unexpected... this is going to be hard for him."

Kaoru nodded while looking down at Kenji. "I know, but I know he can make it. We did."

"And I've never regretted it. But he didn't have as much time as I did to forgive his sins. I fear he'll have trouble..." Kenshin lamented. Outside, the sky became darker with gray clouds. Kenshin breathed in the moistening air. "Looks like we're going to have a storm."

"We'll be in Kyoto in a little bit," called back the driver of the carriage.

Kaoru looked up. "We might as well wake up Soujiro now."

"No," said Kenshin, "let him sleep. He'll need all the rest he can get..."

**...  
My baby, a lot could happen before tomorrow.  
****Think about the pain before you take another dose.  
****Who knows if could be good for you after all?**

**What ever you give me  
****I'm going try to give you something new.  
****Not something you've already chewed.  
****When you are not watching  
****I prepare myself for you  
****Because this could be good.  
...**

"Come this way, Seta-san," Okon said as the four travelers reached the Aoiya. Other members of the Oniwabanshuu gathered the group's possessions, so Soujiro could go right up to her after all. Slowly, he followed Okon up a set of stairs in the back of the Aoiya restaurant that lead to the living quarters. He could still remember his way since the last time he was there, which was about eight months ago. Okon directed Soujiro to the room Misao was staying in. For a few moments, he stayed outside the door to merely hear her voice. She was talking to someone. He had a low, soothing voice that was enveloped in some sort of darker mystery. It had to be Aoshi. Just hearing the voice of Misao again filled him with a warm feeling in the bottom of his chest and he smiled.

"...if he doesn't come, I can always-"

"I don't want to hear it, Aoshi. He will come, I know he will..."

Hesitantly, Soujiro slid open the door to Misao's room. The two people inside turned to him immediately and Soujiro stood rigidly still. Aoshi glared at him directly. However, the tall and dark man had might as well not have even existed for Soujiro and Misao could only see one another with disbelief. After their moments passed, Misao's face broke out into one of refined joy and said, "Soujiro... you're back."

Soujiro let out the breath of air he didn't realize he was holding. "How could I not... Misao?" he asked. He never forgot how green her eyes were...

"Excuse me," Aoshi spoke up suddenly, making a path out of the room. The taller man deliberately slowed down in front of Soujiro and continued to glare down at him. No words needed to be said, Soujiro had received the jist of what he wanted to say. Then he pushed by Soujiro and slid the door shut.

A few moments after Aoshi left, Soujiro rushed over to Misao's side on the futon and grasped her hand. "I'm so sorry I haven't been able to visit... I wish I knew that you were... are..."

"Pregnant?" Misao finished for him. He stared down at the mattress and she placed a hand on the side of his face. "It's ok. I read all your letters... all the time... I'm... just happy you're here with me now."

Soujiro looked up at her. "But that's the problem. I... I don't know if I'm even ready to have a baby... Perhaps I could have prepared if I didn't have to leave so suddenly and knew about it those eight months ago... But I don't think..."

Misao frowned. "It's a little too late for regrets, Soujiro. You know what we did and you know we can't change it. I really... I really want you to be there for us... My child and I," she explained to him as he stared into her eyes.

"I... I don't know..." he smiled softly, "I can try. I just don't want to disappoint you."

Misao leaned in closer to Soujiro, "I'm sure you won't," she said as she kissed his cheek. He leaned into her caress and placed a hand on her now large stomach.

"So there's a little me in there?" he asked in attempt to add a little levity to their atmosphere.

Misao giggled as she placed a hand over his. "A little you, or a little me," she joked along, "Or a little both of us." At that moment the door slid open again revealing Kenshin, Kaoru, and Kenji.

Kaoru pursed her lips together and faked an upset attitude, "Excuse me, Makamachi, I guess I wasn't good enough to know of the baby on the way?"

Misao laughed and shook her head. "No, you're just an old, unimportant hag," she said childishly. Kenshin and Soujiro had a good giggle from this and Kenji started to repeat, "Old hag, old hag!" Kaoru cursed at the younger girl under her breath, her face reddening from the statement.

**...  
What's bugging you?  
****I gotta tell you, I wanna tell you.  
****I can be crazy, but I don't want to.  
****Baby I'm not a very honest person.  
****What If I don't want a baby yet?  
****Is it okay if I'm knock you at night?  
****Up and down, and down, down, down, down we go.  
...**

Since Soujiro arrived, he and Misao had been inseparable. They took walks around the courtyard of the Aoiya and sat in the shade to enjoy the scenery. It was almost as if Soujiro had never left Misao and the two of them were happily married with one another. However, the talk around that particular section of Kyoto called their relationship disgraceful. A man and a woman- not married -already having a baby? How horrible! They should have at least joined together when they found out her pregnancy? They're living in sin!

Regardless, the two of them didn't care. The date to the expected birth of the child was nearing closer and closer though, and everyone was now being careful around Misao. With ever day that had passed, though, Soujiro's heart grew more and more anxious. He began doubting his ability to raise the child again.

A couple nights after his arrival, Soujiro and Misao were outside on the porch staring at the moon, which was covered by oncoming storm clouds that seemed to linger in the air for the past few days, making Kyoto dark. They were snuggling close, just like they had done many times before. Soujiro wanted to tell Misao how much he loved her and how much he wanted to take care of her but the words were just not coming out. Misao spoke up. "Looks like its going to rain."

Soujiro agreed quietly. Misao then frowned. "It's kind of frightening."

"Hm?" Soujiro asked, not paying attention before. Misao sighed and snuggled closer. "I was just saying... I mean, I found out about my baby eight months ago and all, but I still am frightened about having it," Misao confessed. Soujiro remained quiet, as he knew exactly how she felt.

"But I just know that this baby... will be the best thing that is ever going to happen to me," she finished. Soujiro stared down at her and kissed her forehead. She could go through this... but how could he?

His whole life was dark and bloody. Orphaned as a young child, the child of a prostitute and a mysterious father, he was beaten and forced with labor. He killed his remaining living relatives by his own hand and joined one of the most evil of men in Japan. Under Shishio's leadership, he killed even more people. It's only been about four years since he quit and Shishio died. That wasn't nearly enough time. Again he asked himself how could he raise a child? He wasn't suited to.

And as hard as he didn't want to admit it, there was no way he could have it. He'd have to tell Misao eventually...

After he put Misao to bed in her futon, he exited the Aoiya to go for a long, soothing walk. As he walked out he didn't notice that Kenshin was watching him out from the second story window.

**...  
This could be good.  
****So I gotta tell you, I wanna tell you.  
****You can be shady with what you're going through.  
****Baby you're not a very honest person.  
****You say you're sure that you love me.  
****How could that be, when you keep so much from me?  
****Turn the tables round, round, and round we go.  
...**

By time Soujiro realized it, he was at the docks and it was near dawn. One couldn't tell though, for the clouds finally dispersed themselves of the rain they held. He sighed as the rain drenched him. He couldn't be the father of this baby. He'd be so horrible at it! Turning, he began to make his way back to the Aoiya to inform Misao this. She'd be hurt, but it was better than hurting the baby some how.

When he reached the Aoiya, he was greeted by a pacing Aoshi. "Shinomori-san, what are you doing out here?" Soujiro asked politely as he approached him.

Aoshi glared at the younger man. "Waiting for you. Misao is in labor and you're not there for her!" he yelled as he menacingly approached Soujiro.

Soujiro gasped. "She's already in labor!" he exclaimed as he ran around Aoshi and into the restaurant. This wasn't good! How was he supposed to tell Misao he didn't want to be the father when she's already having the child? He cursed lightly in his head as he dashed up the stairs to the second story. Once he reached Misao's door he flew it open to reveal Okon, Omasu, Kaoru, Kenshin, and Misao. Okon and Omasu were cleaning up something. Kaoru was helping Misao gain back her breaths and Kenshin was over in the corner... looking sick.

Misao looked up at Soujiro and smiled. "I knew," she said between gasps, "you'd come back."

Kaoru glared at Soujiro in a very motherly way. "She started to go into labor last night and when we went to find you, you disappeared! Where'd you go?"

Soujiro put a hand through his hair. "I put Misao to bed because she fell asleep against me... Then I went for a walk because I... had a lot to think about," he explained. Then he rushed over to Misao's side and grasped her hand. "How are you feeling? Are you alright?"

Misao giggled softly. "Besides being tired and worn out? I'm fine," she said. Omasu walked over to her then, holding a bundle of sheets. "Here he is..." Misao said, reaching up for the bundle and holding it gently in her arms. Soujiro looked down at the little baby that was wrapped in the sheets. Clear blue eyes stared back at Soujiro from a little chubby head within the sheets. His hair almost seemed to be the same blue-black as his mother's. The baby started to move in attempt to struggle free of the sheets that held him, and when failing, started to cry.

Soujiro instantly reached out to the baby and caressed the baby's head to soothe him. "It's ok... Don't cry, not now," Soujiro cooed as he fixed the sheets so that the baby's arms could get through. Now that he could move, the baby stopped crying and reached up towards his father. Soujiro smiled and let the baby grasp his hand.

Misao looked up at Soujiro sweetly. "You want to hold him?" she asked.

Soujiro was taken aback. "Oh I couldn't possibly-"

"Here," Misao said, giving the baby to Soujiro. "Wrap your arm around him here, and hold on to his head."

Soujiro stared in amazement at the little boy he was holding him. This was _his _child. _His _child. "Hey there little guy," he said quietly to the baby. The little boy gave a toothless smile in response.

Kenshin, now feeling better, then said, "I think we should give the two new parents their space." At this, Okon and Omasu left. Kaoru patted the baby's head and then left as well. Kenshin, walked over to Soujiro and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Its instinct," he whispered, and then left.

"Instinct..." Soujiro muttered to himself. Yes, he knew what Kenshin was talking about now. After staring at their little baby, he knew he wanted to be around. To be the father, the caretaker, and so much more.

"What should we name him?" Misao asked Soujiro.

Soujiro stared at the little boy, caught in his thoughts. "We should name him Masa. I want him to be good, always straight-forward," Soujiro said then. He also picked that name because Misao's name started with a 'm' as well, and the two sounded alike. He always wanted to be reminded of Misao.

That train of thought sprung him into another one. "Misao... will you marry me?" he asked, then taking his eyes off the little baby and staring into Misao's green ones.

Misao laughed. "It seems like you want to marry that baby a bit more than you want to marry me," she said in her joking way. Putting a hand up to her face to wipe a tear away, she then said, "Of course I'll marry you, Soujiro!"

With this, Soujiro leaned down to kiss her lips to seal the promise. When he broke away, Misao explained, "Now I need a few things from you. I need you to be honest with me. I need you to be there for me and Masa. And I need you to know that you can always count on me to be there for you."

Soujiro smiled. "Of course."

The rain continued to fall outside their window, but Soujiro didn't see it as a bad sign. In any case, the rain was the best thing that could happen for Masa. Like the rain, Masa's birth washed away all of Soujiro's fears and doubts he's ever had about the child. Now clean, Soujiro knew that along side his wife, they could make it.

**...  
Right now you're sure that you love me  
****But are you really ready to know more about me?  
****Up and Down, and down, round, and round,  
****And round, where do we go.  
...**

_

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_

:The Beginning:

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End file.
